3 tweets today from Mike Donehey of Tenth Avenue North are excellent reminders and encouragement for all of us:
Hebrews 12 in my brain this morning. We fix our eyes on Jesus and run this race with witnesses cheering us to the finish.
Witnesses on the sidelines. David yelling, "I committed adultery, get back up!" Peter crying, "I denied Christ! "Keep running, He redeems!"
God's redemption is running underneath the fall today. Wherever you are, whatever you've done, get back up.
"God thinks of every separate child of His as much as if He had only that one." - Charles Spurgeon
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Too Good To Be True
From Pastor Tullian...
Having concluded a fourteen week sermon series on the book of James the week before (you can access that entire series for free here), I began a new six-week sermon series this past Sunday entitled “Pictures of Grace.” We’re going back to the Gospels and looking at various events in the life and ministry of Jesus where the shocking, counter-intuitive nature of amazing grace is on display. Each week we’ll look intently at how Jesus wrecks people with his grace, turning everything that makes sense in our conditional world upside-down.
I began the series by pointing out that there’s nothing more difficult for us to get our minds around than the unconditional grace of God; it offends our deepest sensibilities. A conditional world is much safer than an unconditional world because a conditional world keeps us in control, it’s formulaic–do certain things and certain things are guaranteed to happen. We understand conditions. Conditionality makes sense. Unconditionality on the other hand is incomprehensible to us. We are so conditioned against unconditionality–we are told in a thousand different ways that accomplishment precedes acceptance; that achievement precedes approval.
Society demands two way love. Everything’s conditional: if you achieve only then will you receive meaning, security, respect, love and so on. But grace, as Paul Zahl points out, is one way love: “Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return. Grace is love coming at you that has nothing to do with you. Grace is being loved when you are unlovable.”
Like Job’s friends, we naturally conclude that good people get good stuff and bad people get bad stuff. The idea that bad people get good stuff is thickly counter-intuitive. It seems terribly unfair. It offends our sense of justice. Even those of us who have tasted the radical saving grace of God find it intuitively difficult not to put conditions on grace– “don’t take it too far; keep it balanced.” The truth is, however, that a “yes grace but” posture is the kind of posture that perpetuates slavery in our lives and in the church. Grace is radically unbalanced. It has no “but”: it’s unconditional, uncontrollable, unpredictable, and undomesticated. As Doug Wilson put it recently, “Grace is wild. Grace unsettles everything. Grace overflows the banks. Grace messes up your hair. Grace is not tame. In fact, unless we are making the devout nervous, we are not preaching grace as we ought.”
With this in mind I decided to begin with Luke 7:36-50. This is the famous account of the sinful woman (most likely a prostitute) barging into a party of religious leaders and washing the feet of Jesus with her tears of repentance. I pointed out that two rescues are happening in this passage: the obvious rescue of the immoral person but also the rescue of the moral person.
Normally when we think of people in need of God’s rescuing grace, we think of the unrighteous and the immoral. But what’s fascinating to me is that throughout the Bible, it’s the immoral person that gets the Gospel before the moral person; it’s the prostitute who gets grace; it’s the Pharisee who doesn’t. What we see in this story is that God’s grace wrecks and then rescues, not only the promiscuous but the pious. The Pharisee in this story can’t understand what Jesus is doing by allowing this woman to touch him because he assumes that God is for the clean and competent. But Jesus here shows him that God is for the unclean and incompetent and that when measured against God’s perfect holiness we’re all unclean and incompetent. Jesus shows him that the gospel isn’t for winners, but losers: it’s for the weak and messed up person, not the strong and mighty person. It’s not for the well-behaved, but the dead.
Remember: Jesus came not to effect a moral reformation but a mortal resurrection (moral reformations can, and have, taken place throughout history without Jesus. But only Jesus can raise the dead, over and over and over again). As Gerhard Forde put it, “Christianity is not the move from vice to virtue, but rather the move from virtue to grace.”
Wrecking every religious category he had, Jesus tells the Pharisee that he has a lot to learn from the prostitute, not the other way around.
The prostitute on the other hand walks into a party of religious people and falls at the feet of Jesus without any care as to what others are thinking and saying. She’s at the end of herself. More than wanting to avoid an uncomfortable situation, she wanted to be clean–she needed to be forgiven. She was acutely aware of her guilt and shame. She knew she needed help. She understood at a profound level that God’s grace doesn’t demand that you get clean before you come to Jesus. Rather, our only hope for getting clean is to come to Jesus. Only in the Gospel does love precede loveliness. Everywhere else loveliness precedes love.
I closed the sermon by recalling a story that Rod Rosenbladt told me when we were together at the recent Gospel Coalition conference in Chicago. It’s a story about a middle-aged woman who needed help from her pastor.
She went to her pastor and said, “Pastor, you know that I had an abortion a number of years ago?” “Yes,” the Pastor replied. “Well, I need to talk to you about the man I’ve since met.” “Alright,” replied the Pastor.
“Well, we met a while back, and started dating and I thought, I need to tell him about the abortion. But I just couldn’t. Then things got more serious between us and I thought, I need to tell him about the abortion. But I just couldn’t. A while later we got engaged and I thought, I need to tell him about the abortion. But I just couldn’t. Then we got married and I thought, I really need to tell him about the abortion. But I just couldn’t. So I needed to talk to someone, Pastor, and you’re it.”
The Pastor replied, “You know, we have a service for this. Let’s go through that together.” So they did – a service of confession and absolution.
When they were finished, she said to him, “Now I think I have the courage to tell my new husband about my abortion. Thanks, Pastor.”
And the Pastor replied to her, “What abortion?”
What the Pharisee, the prostitute, and all of us need to remember every day is that Christ offers forgiveness full and free from both our self-righteous goodness and our unrighteous badness. This is the hardest thing for us to believe as Christians. We think it’s a mark of spiritual maturity to hang onto our guilt and shame. We’ve sickly concluded that the worse we feel, the better we actually are. The declaration of Psalm 103:12 is the most difficult for us to grasp and embrace: “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” Or, as Corrie ten Boom once said, “God takes our sins—the past, present, and future—and dumps them in the sea and puts up a sign that says ‘No Fishing allowed.’”
I know this seems too good to be true, but it’s true. No strings attached. No but’s. No conditions. No need for balance. If you are a Christian, you are right now under the completely sufficient imputed righteousness of Christ. Your pardon is full and final. In Christ, you’re forgiven. You’re clean. It is finished.
What abortion?
"If grace doesn't cause you to say, 'Wait a minute, that can't be right', it's not grace!" - Pastor Tullian
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tullian/2013/08/01/liberate-2014/
Having concluded a fourteen week sermon series on the book of James the week before (you can access that entire series for free here), I began a new six-week sermon series this past Sunday entitled “Pictures of Grace.” We’re going back to the Gospels and looking at various events in the life and ministry of Jesus where the shocking, counter-intuitive nature of amazing grace is on display. Each week we’ll look intently at how Jesus wrecks people with his grace, turning everything that makes sense in our conditional world upside-down.
I began the series by pointing out that there’s nothing more difficult for us to get our minds around than the unconditional grace of God; it offends our deepest sensibilities. A conditional world is much safer than an unconditional world because a conditional world keeps us in control, it’s formulaic–do certain things and certain things are guaranteed to happen. We understand conditions. Conditionality makes sense. Unconditionality on the other hand is incomprehensible to us. We are so conditioned against unconditionality–we are told in a thousand different ways that accomplishment precedes acceptance; that achievement precedes approval.
Society demands two way love. Everything’s conditional: if you achieve only then will you receive meaning, security, respect, love and so on. But grace, as Paul Zahl points out, is one way love: “Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return. Grace is love coming at you that has nothing to do with you. Grace is being loved when you are unlovable.”
Like Job’s friends, we naturally conclude that good people get good stuff and bad people get bad stuff. The idea that bad people get good stuff is thickly counter-intuitive. It seems terribly unfair. It offends our sense of justice. Even those of us who have tasted the radical saving grace of God find it intuitively difficult not to put conditions on grace– “don’t take it too far; keep it balanced.” The truth is, however, that a “yes grace but” posture is the kind of posture that perpetuates slavery in our lives and in the church. Grace is radically unbalanced. It has no “but”: it’s unconditional, uncontrollable, unpredictable, and undomesticated. As Doug Wilson put it recently, “Grace is wild. Grace unsettles everything. Grace overflows the banks. Grace messes up your hair. Grace is not tame. In fact, unless we are making the devout nervous, we are not preaching grace as we ought.”
With this in mind I decided to begin with Luke 7:36-50. This is the famous account of the sinful woman (most likely a prostitute) barging into a party of religious leaders and washing the feet of Jesus with her tears of repentance. I pointed out that two rescues are happening in this passage: the obvious rescue of the immoral person but also the rescue of the moral person.
Normally when we think of people in need of God’s rescuing grace, we think of the unrighteous and the immoral. But what’s fascinating to me is that throughout the Bible, it’s the immoral person that gets the Gospel before the moral person; it’s the prostitute who gets grace; it’s the Pharisee who doesn’t. What we see in this story is that God’s grace wrecks and then rescues, not only the promiscuous but the pious. The Pharisee in this story can’t understand what Jesus is doing by allowing this woman to touch him because he assumes that God is for the clean and competent. But Jesus here shows him that God is for the unclean and incompetent and that when measured against God’s perfect holiness we’re all unclean and incompetent. Jesus shows him that the gospel isn’t for winners, but losers: it’s for the weak and messed up person, not the strong and mighty person. It’s not for the well-behaved, but the dead.
Remember: Jesus came not to effect a moral reformation but a mortal resurrection (moral reformations can, and have, taken place throughout history without Jesus. But only Jesus can raise the dead, over and over and over again). As Gerhard Forde put it, “Christianity is not the move from vice to virtue, but rather the move from virtue to grace.”
Wrecking every religious category he had, Jesus tells the Pharisee that he has a lot to learn from the prostitute, not the other way around.
The prostitute on the other hand walks into a party of religious people and falls at the feet of Jesus without any care as to what others are thinking and saying. She’s at the end of herself. More than wanting to avoid an uncomfortable situation, she wanted to be clean–she needed to be forgiven. She was acutely aware of her guilt and shame. She knew she needed help. She understood at a profound level that God’s grace doesn’t demand that you get clean before you come to Jesus. Rather, our only hope for getting clean is to come to Jesus. Only in the Gospel does love precede loveliness. Everywhere else loveliness precedes love.
I closed the sermon by recalling a story that Rod Rosenbladt told me when we were together at the recent Gospel Coalition conference in Chicago. It’s a story about a middle-aged woman who needed help from her pastor.
She went to her pastor and said, “Pastor, you know that I had an abortion a number of years ago?” “Yes,” the Pastor replied. “Well, I need to talk to you about the man I’ve since met.” “Alright,” replied the Pastor.
“Well, we met a while back, and started dating and I thought, I need to tell him about the abortion. But I just couldn’t. Then things got more serious between us and I thought, I need to tell him about the abortion. But I just couldn’t. A while later we got engaged and I thought, I need to tell him about the abortion. But I just couldn’t. Then we got married and I thought, I really need to tell him about the abortion. But I just couldn’t. So I needed to talk to someone, Pastor, and you’re it.”
The Pastor replied, “You know, we have a service for this. Let’s go through that together.” So they did – a service of confession and absolution.
When they were finished, she said to him, “Now I think I have the courage to tell my new husband about my abortion. Thanks, Pastor.”
And the Pastor replied to her, “What abortion?”
What the Pharisee, the prostitute, and all of us need to remember every day is that Christ offers forgiveness full and free from both our self-righteous goodness and our unrighteous badness. This is the hardest thing for us to believe as Christians. We think it’s a mark of spiritual maturity to hang onto our guilt and shame. We’ve sickly concluded that the worse we feel, the better we actually are. The declaration of Psalm 103:12 is the most difficult for us to grasp and embrace: “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” Or, as Corrie ten Boom once said, “God takes our sins—the past, present, and future—and dumps them in the sea and puts up a sign that says ‘No Fishing allowed.’”
I know this seems too good to be true, but it’s true. No strings attached. No but’s. No conditions. No need for balance. If you are a Christian, you are right now under the completely sufficient imputed righteousness of Christ. Your pardon is full and final. In Christ, you’re forgiven. You’re clean. It is finished.
What abortion?
"If grace doesn't cause you to say, 'Wait a minute, that can't be right', it's not grace!" - Pastor Tullian
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tullian/2013/08/01/liberate-2014/
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Joplin
So short. So short. "What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." (James 4:14)
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:7
Heavenly Father, give them...Yourself.
"He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of His people He will take away from all the earth, for the LORD has spoken." - Isaiah 25:8
"For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and He will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." - Revelation 7:17
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." - Revelation 21:4
Come, Lord Jesus. Come.
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:7
Heavenly Father, give them...Yourself.
"He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of His people He will take away from all the earth, for the LORD has spoken." - Isaiah 25:8
"For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and He will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." - Revelation 7:17
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." - Revelation 21:4
Come, Lord Jesus. Come.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Humility and Hell
"When Francis Chan speaks of hell, the vapor of his tears smells like love." - John Piper
I absolutely love how God speaks through Francis Chan. Every good Christian pastor and teacher will properly delineate the chasm between an imperfect human sinner and a perfect and holy God. But it seems like when Francis does it, you just feel it deeper. When I hear him talk, I want to be more humble. I want to be more pragmatic and measured in my responses to believers and non-believers alike. I still have a tendency to want to jump into a conversation when I see God's truth being misstated or twisted or ignored. I would do better to allow the other person to speak more to better understand their heart, attitude and beliefs. I would do better if my responses were more steeped in love rather than motivated by being right.
You can speak God's truth out of pride and it will still be truth...but it won't be received nearly as well as if it was spoken out of love and humility. God is teaching me that through Francis.
Most importantly, I want to be more humble in my relationship with God. I want to be more yielded and submitted. I want to desire God's glory more than my own and in ever greater measure.
When I first saw this video, I immediately thought of a couple people I have witnessed to multiple times over the years only to find time and again that their intellect and reason proved to be the biggest obstacle in making God the treasure of their hearts and lives. However, I know I do this as well. Within those areas, I need God to humble me so that my life would better reflect His glory.
"Humility is beyond our reach. If it were a product of reaching, we would instinctively be proud of reaching it. It is a gift." - John Piper
"Erasing Hell" book review:
http://www.bloggingtheologically.com/2011/07/05/book-review-erasing-hell-by-francis-chan-and-preston-sprinkle/
http://www.christianhistorymagazine.org/wp-content/themes/muddy/pdfs/hell.pdf
http://www.ligonier.org/blog/hell/
http://kellerquotes.com/hell-and-heaven/
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-presence-of-the-lamb-and-the-sufferings-of-hell
"Eternity is the never ending fulfillment of what you pursued in this life." - J.R. Vassar
I absolutely love how God speaks through Francis Chan. Every good Christian pastor and teacher will properly delineate the chasm between an imperfect human sinner and a perfect and holy God. But it seems like when Francis does it, you just feel it deeper. When I hear him talk, I want to be more humble. I want to be more pragmatic and measured in my responses to believers and non-believers alike. I still have a tendency to want to jump into a conversation when I see God's truth being misstated or twisted or ignored. I would do better to allow the other person to speak more to better understand their heart, attitude and beliefs. I would do better if my responses were more steeped in love rather than motivated by being right.
You can speak God's truth out of pride and it will still be truth...but it won't be received nearly as well as if it was spoken out of love and humility. God is teaching me that through Francis.
Most importantly, I want to be more humble in my relationship with God. I want to be more yielded and submitted. I want to desire God's glory more than my own and in ever greater measure.
When I first saw this video, I immediately thought of a couple people I have witnessed to multiple times over the years only to find time and again that their intellect and reason proved to be the biggest obstacle in making God the treasure of their hearts and lives. However, I know I do this as well. Within those areas, I need God to humble me so that my life would better reflect His glory.
"Humility is beyond our reach. If it were a product of reaching, we would instinctively be proud of reaching it. It is a gift." - John Piper
"Erasing Hell" book review:
http://www.bloggingtheologically.com/2011/07/05/book-review-erasing-hell-by-francis-chan-and-preston-sprinkle/
http://www.christianhistorymagazine.org/wp-content/themes/muddy/pdfs/hell.pdf
http://www.ligonier.org/blog/hell/
http://kellerquotes.com/hell-and-heaven/
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-presence-of-the-lamb-and-the-sufferings-of-hell
"Eternity is the never ending fulfillment of what you pursued in this life." - J.R. Vassar
Rapture?
"We will not be surprised that Christ has not returned according to any human's timetable. But we should not be relieved. Lord come quickly." - Albert Mohler
Today is the day that Harold Camping called for the rapture. As it is past 6 PM CST, I can officially say he was mistaken. However, I knew he was mistaken before that.
"But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. - Mark 13:32 (ESV)
As a Christian, it is tempting to just dismiss this entire episode and move on. Yet, there are lessons to be taken away. The gloating of skeptics, atheists and even other Christians, should result in even greater prayers for their salvation and for a deeper understanding of grace and love.
We should not stop at verse 32 but hear Christ's command in verse 33:
"Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come."
We should be taking this opportunity to again ask ourselves if we are truly ready...are we on guard against those forces around us that want to destroy our faith? We should be asking God to show us the stumbling blocks in our lives and hearts that threaten to extinguish our passion for our Lord. This is a time to be humble rather than prideful that we didn't fall for Camping's proclamation.
The idea of the rapture is taken from Matthew 24:38-42:
"For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, 39and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. 40Then two men will be in the field; one will be taken and one left. 41 Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one left. 42Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming."
I remain unsure whether this passage can be extrapolated into a literal rapture. I will let John Piper offer some definitions and counsel on this matter:
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/articles/definitions-and-observations-concerning-the-second-coming-of-christ
Finally, here is a very well written letter to those who followed Camping:
http://www.patheos.com/community/philosophicalfragments/2011/05/21/a-letter-to-harold-camping-and-those-who-expected-judgment-day/
http://www.patheos.com/community/philosophicalfragments/2011/05/27/harold-camping-needs-an-intervention/
As of March 2012, Camping has admitted his sin and will stop making end of the world predictions:
http://www.christianpost.com/news/harold-camping-admits-sin-announces-end-to-doomsday-predictions-70953/
Today is the day that Harold Camping called for the rapture. As it is past 6 PM CST, I can officially say he was mistaken. However, I knew he was mistaken before that.
"But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. - Mark 13:32 (ESV)
As a Christian, it is tempting to just dismiss this entire episode and move on. Yet, there are lessons to be taken away. The gloating of skeptics, atheists and even other Christians, should result in even greater prayers for their salvation and for a deeper understanding of grace and love.
We should not stop at verse 32 but hear Christ's command in verse 33:
"Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come."
We should be taking this opportunity to again ask ourselves if we are truly ready...are we on guard against those forces around us that want to destroy our faith? We should be asking God to show us the stumbling blocks in our lives and hearts that threaten to extinguish our passion for our Lord. This is a time to be humble rather than prideful that we didn't fall for Camping's proclamation.
The idea of the rapture is taken from Matthew 24:38-42:
"For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, 39and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. 40Then two men will be in the field; one will be taken and one left. 41 Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one left. 42Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming."
I remain unsure whether this passage can be extrapolated into a literal rapture. I will let John Piper offer some definitions and counsel on this matter:
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/articles/definitions-and-observations-concerning-the-second-coming-of-christ
Finally, here is a very well written letter to those who followed Camping:
http://www.patheos.com/community/philosophicalfragments/2011/05/21/a-letter-to-harold-camping-and-those-who-expected-judgment-day/
http://www.patheos.com/community/philosophicalfragments/2011/05/27/harold-camping-needs-an-intervention/
As of March 2012, Camping has admitted his sin and will stop making end of the world predictions:
http://www.christianpost.com/news/harold-camping-admits-sin-announces-end-to-doomsday-predictions-70953/
Saturday, May 14, 2011
First 1/3 of the year
"God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn in no other way." - C.S. Lewis
In a word...challenging. Here is a breakdown of the challenges:
1.) Personal stock account down 68% for the year at its lowest point.
2.) Lots of evenings and weekends involved extra work from my job.
3.) Only one vacation day...half of which was spent working.
4.) As if #2 and #3 weren't stressful enough, all of that work resulted in a very poor first quarter performance for my company.
5.) A couple of significant illnesses.
6.) Multiple IRS issues.
7.) Recurring "service engine soon" light in my car that has resulted in two separate trips to the mechanic and extra expenses.
8.) Worse than average weather - snow, ice, cold, rain, tornados - which has a tendency to adversely affect my mood and energy level.
Pretty ugly, huh? Yes, I have perspective. I know my issues pale in comparison relative to others but this blog is about my experiences in an absolute sense. Let's go through these one by one and see where I stand now.
1.) I have been trading stocks for 13 years now and have NEVER lost such a large percentage in such a short time. Not only that, this happened in an UP market. I firmly believe that God was at least partially responsible. I have never experienced so many bad breaks in my life. It was simply too much to be coincidence (referencing the last blog). There were days when the market was up and all 10 of my positions, which should have benefited from an up market, were down on the day. That is practically impossible and it happened multiple times.
So, it was either give up or continue but just completely let the results fall in God's hands while still doing my best. It was challenging at times to balance being a good steward (risk management, researching stocks before taking a position) and yet putting all my faith in God that whether my account doubled or went to zero within the next week, it ultimately didn't matter, because He mattered more. From the low I reached in March, I am up about 65%. But I still have a ways to go to get back to even for the year. Yet, I'm not worrying about it. I do believe it was another lesson in faith and where I place my worth and I think I got a passing grade.
2.) Not much to say here. I am not working extra hours because I find my worth in it or out of pride. I do it because I think it is necessary in order to be good at my job and give my firm the best chance at being successful. I believe it honors God and my employer and offers a good witness.
3.) Again, much like #2, a small company can't afford to have any of its members gone much. I will have more vacation later this year so I have gotten through the worst of it.
4.) Performance has been better in the second quarter. Will we recover enough for me to have any chance at a real bonus? That is a long shot at this point but one day at a time.
5.) I am healthy and thankful. Getting in better shape is a top goal for this year and I am currently working out at the hardest level in over a year.
6.) Not going to elaborate here but let's just say that federal issues are resolved. State is still a work in progress but I am much closer to the end than the beginning.
7.) The light remains on but I am now chalking it up to a sensor issue. The second trip into the shop resulted in an engine flush which has noticeably helped my gas mileage. Thank you Lord.
8.) Weather has definitely turned nicer and outdoors time can once again be an option. It is aiding my health and my workouts.
There have been times in my life when the above list occurring within a four month period would have sent me into a mental and emotional downward spiral. But that never really happened this time around. I rest so much more securely in my relationship with Jesus Christ and who I am because of what He has done for me rather than what I can do for myself. It has made all the difference. I actually feel more optimistic about my life than I have in a long time. I think that's because I know more of what my life is about now and that I am much more sold on a cause that lies outside and above me. These are all temporal issues that ultimately hold no sway over my heart and soul.
This is from a blog that I wrote on 9/18/10:
So, this is what it comes down to and why I struggle. My hope ebbs and flows between heaven and this world...between the eternal and the temporal...between the saving grace of Jesus Christ and my desperate attempt to save myself. I love Paul's phrase, "your endurance inspired by hope". When I start to lose hope my endurance definitely suffers and the temptation to quit looms large. But that is only when my hope is outside of God. I want to eventually get to the point echoed in the verses below. When all earthly hope has been removed...when there is no worldly reason to go on...I will simply look up and know who I am and rejoice in the God of my salvation.
Habakkuk 3:17-18 (New American Standard Bible)
17Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
18Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
By the continued grace of God I am getting to that point. More than ever, I look up and know who I am and rejoice in the God of my salvation.
In a word...challenging. Here is a breakdown of the challenges:
1.) Personal stock account down 68% for the year at its lowest point.
2.) Lots of evenings and weekends involved extra work from my job.
3.) Only one vacation day...half of which was spent working.
4.) As if #2 and #3 weren't stressful enough, all of that work resulted in a very poor first quarter performance for my company.
5.) A couple of significant illnesses.
6.) Multiple IRS issues.
7.) Recurring "service engine soon" light in my car that has resulted in two separate trips to the mechanic and extra expenses.
8.) Worse than average weather - snow, ice, cold, rain, tornados - which has a tendency to adversely affect my mood and energy level.
Pretty ugly, huh? Yes, I have perspective. I know my issues pale in comparison relative to others but this blog is about my experiences in an absolute sense. Let's go through these one by one and see where I stand now.
1.) I have been trading stocks for 13 years now and have NEVER lost such a large percentage in such a short time. Not only that, this happened in an UP market. I firmly believe that God was at least partially responsible. I have never experienced so many bad breaks in my life. It was simply too much to be coincidence (referencing the last blog). There were days when the market was up and all 10 of my positions, which should have benefited from an up market, were down on the day. That is practically impossible and it happened multiple times.
So, it was either give up or continue but just completely let the results fall in God's hands while still doing my best. It was challenging at times to balance being a good steward (risk management, researching stocks before taking a position) and yet putting all my faith in God that whether my account doubled or went to zero within the next week, it ultimately didn't matter, because He mattered more. From the low I reached in March, I am up about 65%. But I still have a ways to go to get back to even for the year. Yet, I'm not worrying about it. I do believe it was another lesson in faith and where I place my worth and I think I got a passing grade.
2.) Not much to say here. I am not working extra hours because I find my worth in it or out of pride. I do it because I think it is necessary in order to be good at my job and give my firm the best chance at being successful. I believe it honors God and my employer and offers a good witness.
3.) Again, much like #2, a small company can't afford to have any of its members gone much. I will have more vacation later this year so I have gotten through the worst of it.
4.) Performance has been better in the second quarter. Will we recover enough for me to have any chance at a real bonus? That is a long shot at this point but one day at a time.
5.) I am healthy and thankful. Getting in better shape is a top goal for this year and I am currently working out at the hardest level in over a year.
6.) Not going to elaborate here but let's just say that federal issues are resolved. State is still a work in progress but I am much closer to the end than the beginning.
7.) The light remains on but I am now chalking it up to a sensor issue. The second trip into the shop resulted in an engine flush which has noticeably helped my gas mileage. Thank you Lord.
8.) Weather has definitely turned nicer and outdoors time can once again be an option. It is aiding my health and my workouts.
There have been times in my life when the above list occurring within a four month period would have sent me into a mental and emotional downward spiral. But that never really happened this time around. I rest so much more securely in my relationship with Jesus Christ and who I am because of what He has done for me rather than what I can do for myself. It has made all the difference. I actually feel more optimistic about my life than I have in a long time. I think that's because I know more of what my life is about now and that I am much more sold on a cause that lies outside and above me. These are all temporal issues that ultimately hold no sway over my heart and soul.
This is from a blog that I wrote on 9/18/10:
So, this is what it comes down to and why I struggle. My hope ebbs and flows between heaven and this world...between the eternal and the temporal...between the saving grace of Jesus Christ and my desperate attempt to save myself. I love Paul's phrase, "your endurance inspired by hope". When I start to lose hope my endurance definitely suffers and the temptation to quit looms large. But that is only when my hope is outside of God. I want to eventually get to the point echoed in the verses below. When all earthly hope has been removed...when there is no worldly reason to go on...I will simply look up and know who I am and rejoice in the God of my salvation.
Habakkuk 3:17-18 (New American Standard Bible)
17Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
18Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
By the continued grace of God I am getting to that point. More than ever, I look up and know who I am and rejoice in the God of my salvation.
Coincidence?
Two Saturdays ago I joined some friends for a trivia night in order to raise funds for missionary work in Kenya. I am always up for trivia and a God-glorifying cause makes it all the better. We briefly held 2nd place (out of 13) but drifted into a tie for 4th by the end of the night. The highlight of the night wasn't knowing how many stories comprise the Empire State Building or guessing correctly the year that Delaware became a state.
Earlier that day, I had been reading an email and felt convicted by the Spirit to give money to a ministry, which is not something that had been in my budget that month. I don't have a lot of discretionary income these days so it wasn't what I would call an easy financial decision but it was the right spiritual response and so I obeyed with little debate or consternation. The result was peace.
So, back to trivia night. They had both a live and silent auction. As it turned out, I didn't bring enough cash to meet the minimum bids on anything. Besides, nothing really caught my eye except the auction item for 8 1-hour guitar lessons. My parents were quite generous in getting me the gift of an acoustic guitar over three years ago but it has mostly gone unused after my initial efforts led to the quick conclusion that I would need professional help in getting my guitar skills off the ground. Due to financial and time considerations, as well as motivation that came and went, I had not passionately pursued a teacher. Yet, there was the auction sheet in front of me with no one signed up by the end of the night. I felt a bit like I was missing an opportunity. But I didn't have the money and I didn't want to ask anyone for a loan.
Since I wasn't able to financially contribute through the auction items, I decided to buy some 50/50 tickets. For those of you who haven't attended a trivia night, this is a pretty common fundraising technique. You can buy these tickets for $1 apiece and a matching ticket to the one you buy goes into a big jar. At the end of the night, they pick out one winning ticket which gets half of the money that was collected and the other half goes to the charity. Most of the time, the winner ends up giving some or all of his/her winnings back. It is charity after all.
So, the first time I tried to get the attention of the woman collecting the 50/50 money, she turned away and went to another part of the room. I patiently waited for her to come back which she eventually did. I purchased 20 tickets and went on with the night.
They finally got around to reading off the winning ticket, and yes, it happened to be one of the tickets I had purchased. I won $127 and I immediately knew what the money was meant for. There is a story I have heard Francis Chan tell on a couple of occasions. He had been out golfing with some of his friends and one of them was using a new driver which he really wanted. His was older and smaller and he really wanted a club that would allow him to hit the ball farther. But he knew he couldn't really justify it financially. He was having this discussion with God as he was driving to a church the following day for a speaking engagement. After he finishes speaking, a church leader comes up to him and says that they don't have the money to pay him. Francis was just going to say that's fine, no worries. Then this guy says...but we would like to offer you this new driver instead. The club was exactly like the one that Francis wanted. He found it amazing that the God of the universe was so intimately involved in his life and so loving toward him that He would arrange for a golf club to end up in his hands.
I felt the same way that night. God knows my heart and He knew that deep down I really want to learn to play and my disappointment in seeing that auction sheet earlier that evening and not being able to do anything about it. I do believe that God gave me an extra blessing because I was obedient earlier in the day but I also believe that I am blessed by God simply because of who He is and how much He loves me. I am blessed through difficulties that strengthen my faith and I am blessed through moments like this that remind me of how much my heavenly Father cares about me.
There are no coincidences with God. It wasn't a coincidence that the minimum bid for the guitar lessons was the exact same amount I gave earlier in the day. It wasn't a coincidence that I couldn't get the woman's attention the first time she came by. As Pastor Braun said to me many years ago, "Don't call it luck. Call it a blessing." Proverbs 16:33 tells us that even the cast of the die is controlled by the sovereignty of God. Nothing happens outside of the control or allowance of God. That night was a special moment between Him and I. It was good.
Earlier that day, I had been reading an email and felt convicted by the Spirit to give money to a ministry, which is not something that had been in my budget that month. I don't have a lot of discretionary income these days so it wasn't what I would call an easy financial decision but it was the right spiritual response and so I obeyed with little debate or consternation. The result was peace.
So, back to trivia night. They had both a live and silent auction. As it turned out, I didn't bring enough cash to meet the minimum bids on anything. Besides, nothing really caught my eye except the auction item for 8 1-hour guitar lessons. My parents were quite generous in getting me the gift of an acoustic guitar over three years ago but it has mostly gone unused after my initial efforts led to the quick conclusion that I would need professional help in getting my guitar skills off the ground. Due to financial and time considerations, as well as motivation that came and went, I had not passionately pursued a teacher. Yet, there was the auction sheet in front of me with no one signed up by the end of the night. I felt a bit like I was missing an opportunity. But I didn't have the money and I didn't want to ask anyone for a loan.
Since I wasn't able to financially contribute through the auction items, I decided to buy some 50/50 tickets. For those of you who haven't attended a trivia night, this is a pretty common fundraising technique. You can buy these tickets for $1 apiece and a matching ticket to the one you buy goes into a big jar. At the end of the night, they pick out one winning ticket which gets half of the money that was collected and the other half goes to the charity. Most of the time, the winner ends up giving some or all of his/her winnings back. It is charity after all.
So, the first time I tried to get the attention of the woman collecting the 50/50 money, she turned away and went to another part of the room. I patiently waited for her to come back which she eventually did. I purchased 20 tickets and went on with the night.
They finally got around to reading off the winning ticket, and yes, it happened to be one of the tickets I had purchased. I won $127 and I immediately knew what the money was meant for. There is a story I have heard Francis Chan tell on a couple of occasions. He had been out golfing with some of his friends and one of them was using a new driver which he really wanted. His was older and smaller and he really wanted a club that would allow him to hit the ball farther. But he knew he couldn't really justify it financially. He was having this discussion with God as he was driving to a church the following day for a speaking engagement. After he finishes speaking, a church leader comes up to him and says that they don't have the money to pay him. Francis was just going to say that's fine, no worries. Then this guy says...but we would like to offer you this new driver instead. The club was exactly like the one that Francis wanted. He found it amazing that the God of the universe was so intimately involved in his life and so loving toward him that He would arrange for a golf club to end up in his hands.
I felt the same way that night. God knows my heart and He knew that deep down I really want to learn to play and my disappointment in seeing that auction sheet earlier that evening and not being able to do anything about it. I do believe that God gave me an extra blessing because I was obedient earlier in the day but I also believe that I am blessed by God simply because of who He is and how much He loves me. I am blessed through difficulties that strengthen my faith and I am blessed through moments like this that remind me of how much my heavenly Father cares about me.
There are no coincidences with God. It wasn't a coincidence that the minimum bid for the guitar lessons was the exact same amount I gave earlier in the day. It wasn't a coincidence that I couldn't get the woman's attention the first time she came by. As Pastor Braun said to me many years ago, "Don't call it luck. Call it a blessing." Proverbs 16:33 tells us that even the cast of the die is controlled by the sovereignty of God. Nothing happens outside of the control or allowance of God. That night was a special moment between Him and I. It was good.
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