2010

As the year ends I am simply thankful. Thankful for a God who doesn't give up on me. Thankful for a family who loves me. Thankful for brothers and sisters in Christ who encourage me. Thankful for a life that according to Ezekiel 18 should no longer exist.

I have battled against sin more fervently this year than ever before. Only this time I battled more in God's strength and promises rather than my own willpower and guilty conscience. God has intervened directly to remove stumbling blocks in my life. He has opened my eyes further to the pervasiveness of His grace and my utter dependence on Him which is a beacon for freedom rather than weakness. God's goodness has been humbling and inspiring.

I have learned to listen more and to talk less. I have learned to be more measured in my words instead of allowing a quick mind lead to a quick tongue. I have learned more deeply what it means to persevere in the midst of struggles. I have learned to rely on God more than myself. I have learned to give grace more freely because I have realized more fully how freely it has been given to me.

The darkness has been ever present. My flesh, the world and the Enemy continue to conspire to neutralize my effectiveness as an ambassador of Christ. The battle is daily...hourly...sometimes minute by minute. I don't prevail in every battle but I am more aware than ever that the battle is raging and I choose to engage rather than check out. When I stumble I rise anew in God's grace and forgiveness rather than attempting to clean myself up before seeking restoration.

The darkness is persistent, pervasive and real. But the light is greater. The light pierces the darkness that surrounds me. It pulls me out of the abyss and back to my Father. It prevails.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." - John 1:5

To borrow the theme from the Christmas Eve service...2010 has been illuminating.