It's just one of those times when I am tired...mentally, emotionally and physically. It's not totally a bad tired though. It was a challenging week but I think I came through it in a strong fashion. I finished the week strong with an intense work day on Friday. It's always a good feeling to feel like you gave it your all and held nothing back. In those times you feel like you have honored your employer and yourself...and most importantly God. Running cross-country in high school taught me to finish strong because if you really kick it into high in the last 200-300 yards you can pass a lot of people who have nothing left in the tank. It also jibes well with Paul's analogy of running the race with perseverance. So, I try to take the idea of "finishing strong" and make it a part of every area of my life.
I tend to be hard on myself because God has given me a lot of abilities and I don't want them to go to underutilized in my life or in the lives of others. However, I think I have also become better at giving myself a break. I'm not chastising myself too much for just wanting to sit in the recliner and zone out a little...listen to some tunes...maybe write a blog. Piper doesn't have a TV because he wants to make the most of every moment of life that God blesses him with. I am sure he knows how to relax as well but I find that kind of internal pressure rather daunting. Yes, I want my life to matter as much as possible but I can't be as useful to others if I don't recharge the batteries now and again.
It was a week that brought with it a lot of deep conversations with friends. I met with two guys from care group one-on-one on Monday and Tuesday night. Those times are always blessed but can be challenging in that you want to ask the right questions and offer the right words to help them walk right with God. I found out that another friend's mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Another friend lost his job this week - on the same day that his wife was quitting her job to go back to school. So there are lots of things swirling around my head and the prayer list grows.
I think I am weary of the news. Cap and trade...hate crime laws (I typed lies the first time...seems more appropriate to my subconscious I guess) that include sexual identity and behavior...health care reform...Pennsylvania's attempt to remove Jesus' name from legislature prayers...the list goes on and on. Some of that is necessary for my job and some is necessary to be aware of the ongoing spiritual battle for the souls of this nation. But it can become overwhelming at times and doesn't always seem terribly productive. I can't know everything and can't be involved in everything so where do I draw the line? Maybe I will get rid of my TV at some point...thought I would miss sporting events which is one of the most wholesome escapes I have.
The good news is that God has granted me solid sleep lately with the aid of generic cherry-flavored Ny-quil. Praise the Lord for that. You can't put a price on peace.
