Forgiveness

"The essence of forgiveness is absorbing pain instead of giving it." - Tim Keller

"Mercy and forgiveness must be free and unmerited to the wrongdoer. If the wrongdoer has to do something to merit it, then it isn’t mercy, but forgiveness always comes at a cost to the one granting the forgiveness." - Tim Keller

"It's impossible to love someone who has sinned against you grievously unless you're aware that you're capable of the same sin." - Pastor Tullian

"Whatever offense you've received is infinitely smaller than the offense God has received from you. The Gospel frees you to forgive quickly." - Pastor Tullian

"Don't buy the lie of bitterness. It's like drinking poison hoping it will kill the other person, but you're the one who dies." - Jefferson Bethke

“Many of us are being held hostage by bitterness because we are not willing to give to others what we have been given.” -Tony Evans

"When I am bitter and unforgiving what I am really saying in my heart is, 'I am better then you as I would never do what you just did.'" - Tim Keller

"If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more and if they are your enemies, you are under orders to pray for them." - C.S. Lewis

"When someone does you wrong....trying to hold a grudge and wish pain on them is like holding your breath and hoping they suffocate."



From "Captivating" by John Eldredge:

We must forgive those who hurt us. The reason is simple: Bitterness and unforgiveness are claws that set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that keep us held captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds. Until you forgive, you remain their prisoner. Paul warns us that unforgiveness and bitterness can wreck our lives and the lives of others (Eph. 4:31; Heb. 12:15). We have to let them go.

Forgive as Christ has forgiven you. (Col 3:13)

Now - listen carefully. Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling - don't try and feel forgiving. It is an act of the will. "Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving," wrote Neil Anderson. "You will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made . . ." We allow God to bring the hurt up from our past, for "if your forgiveness doesn't visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete." We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to our father, our mother, those who hurt us. This is not saying, "It didn't really matter"; it is not saying, "I probably deserved part of it anyway." Forgiveness says, "It was wrong. Very wrong. It mattered, hurt me deeply. And I release you. I give you to God."

It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves. They were broken hearts, broken when they were young, and they fell captive to the Enemy. They were in fact pawns in his hands. This doesn't absolve them of the choices they made, the things they did. It just helps us to let them go - to realize that they were shattered souls themselves.

http://pastormark.tv/2012/08/14/5-crucial-steps-for-reconciliation

http://www.bloggingtheologically.com/2014/03/24/3-things-forgiveness

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2014/may/forgiving-sins-of-my-father.html

www.bloggingtheologically.com/2014/07/28/when-forgiveness-becomes-a-discipline

http://dailykeller.com/what-is-forgiveness/